Mom Power: Activate...in the form of a Warrior

Mom Power: Activate in the form of a Warrior

My mother called last week and asked if the kid's and I would fly out from Vermont to Arizona for her birthday, which was but a few days away. Two thousand of her dollars later, we had US Air tickets with the duration of travel just shy of 8 hours...pretty darn good for a 2500+ mile trip and two planes. Plus, I was able to book the trip from the comfort of my home using Orbitz. I see that as FLOW. Honestly, I would rather struggle on the ticket side of things than lack flow during the actual travel and with 4 flights in 5 days with our seats scattered all over the place and two little ones in tow, the possibility of flow is greatly challenged. Knowing this, I set us up with a team mentality and the belief that we were headed for an adventure...seems to be a realistic way to face scenarios like, "no, I won't trade my aisle seat for your middle seat on a 5 hour flight."

People were wonderful to us.

They offered to move without hesitation...each and every time. I would call that FLOW and CARMA. I get the flow part...the variables were in line, but the karma part seems less obvious to me. I have so much greatness in my life right now and feel deep gratitude. I also have an ugly sadness because I...damn, it's hard to put this out there, humph...I pulled my eyes wide open and closed the door on my 13 year marriage. I know that it would be far more tragic to be defeated by conditioned expectations (of myself and others) than face the flames and step through to the other side. It was not due to a lack of love, rather I felt silently dominated and for a strong, justice-seeking woman this created a good deal of stomach turning to say the least. It still makes my stomach turn now. It's a whoosh and not the positive kind. My quickest remedy is music. Cranked to the point the floors are rocking out. Right now I've got Jason Mraz playing and with his massive talent, I can't help but feel inspired...to stay strong and keep shinning through it all. Gathering knowledge and pursuing new adventures keeps me from worrying my life away. I believe with all that I am in many things, including the certainty that I am capable of more than I have so far manifested. I have and continue to act upon this using a mix of inner-strength, music, singing, my 'until death due us part commitment' to my kids and a righteous hunger to manifest a destiny that fills my soul.
I am a warrior. And I've activated.
"Cronedom" is new territory for me, and though my life often prompts me to want to holler and throw up my hands, I am committed to finding my way back when I loose focus for the benefit of myself and my glorious, precious children. Words will never suffice to express how much I fucking care about those two or myself. We look for the humor in a pile of crap and welcome energy and power as soul food.

I'm wondering if any of the above thoughts are lacking connection in the way that I'm laying it out. My mind is an active place...traffic is a hazard if not managed constantly. The traffic of my mind blurs into a wave a random color. I think about things like...

I like dirt. I give good love. I bring fire. I wait until the last minute to get our passports. I have yet to sign up for parent/teacher conferences. I've been dreaming of a new camera. I've received the kid's summer camp app and it's time to sit down and seal the deal. I'm always hungry for new music. My car is due to go in...pulled part of the bumper off while backing up and hooking up with an icy curb. I bought a new dress while in Scottsdale and I love it. A bit retro...grey and black. Need to pick up a pair of red shoes to go with it. I've started reading...

hold up. Nina Simone just came on. Ahhh. She's singing The Pusher. Love the beat. The story. The point. Her soul. So, so available. Thanks Nina.

Anyway, I'm reading Anne Fausto-Sterling's Myths of Gender (thanks, Stephen). She is a Brown University Professor of Biology and Medicine and thus far I have found the book to be a solid and useful. I'm also reading Crone's Don't Whine by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. who also wrote Goddesses In Everywoman which I plan to pick up soon. Speaking of Goddesses...my mind suddenly remembers I am due for a pap-smear. And a visit to the dentist for a cleaning. And I got my first tattoo...comedy and tragedy masks in black and grey. I'm pleased. As with most things, I put a great deal of thought into this decision. I shared it with my non-tattoo family when I was out West and my siblings had mixed reactions, though generally good, while my folks both nervously smiled and said, "you know, you can't be buried in A Jewish cemetery now." What? Okay, Mom and Dad, thanks for that. I won't apologize for believing I'm a person with a free-spirit that must be considered before her religious affiliation. Additionally, I can't help but focus on the here and now because that's all there is. Of course, I'm always peeking into what I want to manifest in the future, but generally I look to be present. Presently, I have the best nanny ever. Her name is Paula and she'll be here tonight. My kid's are in love with her and she returns the love in everyway possible.

Suddenly, a force similar to that of a 5 o'clock rush-hour enters my thoughts and out comes...

I need my eyes tweaked. How annoying was it that my credit cards (all two of them) didn't work when I was out of town because I didn't remember to call and notify them that I would be traveling out of state. Such good protection that I can't even use them myself...that's why cash is King. Luckily, we had some. Thinking about selling my house...staying put is okay, too. I'm open to the possibilities. I'm working to manifest possibilities.

I cried when I said good-bye to my folks and they both cried, too. I squeezed them both so hard and tight and told them I would try to return their phone calls quicker. Their love and support is a key ingredient in keeping me, Mom of two and a woman with maverick tendencies, activated...in the form of a warrior...

To Be Continued